Beloved

Beloved

Help me heal my trust,

Hold my faith in your gracefulness  

I remember there is a You and I

Together we enter

The temple of vulnerable intimacy

I so long for us

Masks and pretenses are no longer necessary

I know who I Am with You

I relinquish what is no longer real

I open my eyes to the beauty of a sacred truth

Residing in the heart of Love

I am enough

I am loved

My innocence is restored

Your presence opens my heart

I express my longing and desires

To the You that resides within

As naturally as the sun brings light into our world

As kindly as I breathe and watch children play

As roses bloom in the morning dew

Beloved One

Hold me as I stand naked before you

Trembling

Willing to be moved by the life force

Rushing through my body like a great river

Feeling your love healing all pain

Opening my heart to All that I Am

With You

I offer myself to you

With the elegance of a truth

That unites two beings  

In the depth of their desire

Eyes, hands and hearts fully open

Willingly letting go of the known

Surrendering to the mystery of each other

Beloved

I need your help for I cannot do this alone

Hush and soothe my fearful heart

Hold me in your loving embrace

While I cross the threshold and brake the illusion

Born in the past

Saying that love resides

Outside of You and I

Today, I step with You,

Into our ever present immutable embrace

I hear angels in the rustling of leaves

Dancing on the cusp of a rising wind

Birds joyfully ringing the bells of heaven

Singing and praising our joining

It is enough

I am home

A Sacred Reiki Circle

I am now at the airport, the Retreat has ended, my flight was cancelled due to a broken engine, so I sit on this impersonal chair between packs of potato chips, power bars and dozens of drinks. I wonder how many versions of bottled drinks can there be? I see varied colors, flavors, presentations and can longingly feel that the drink I want is not here ... where is the one that would quench my thirst? 


I am thirsty for so many things, for the sweet taste of water, for ice cubes clinking in my glass, cool in my hand when it is burning hot outside. For water rising from a well in the middle of the desert, for swimming in clear blue water, for hot morning water ready for the tea I will have with my friends. For bubbling water moving around me as I lay in a hot tub under a lit dark sky, dressed in the flowing gown of its wavy Milky Way, celebrated by shooting stars, as I catch my breath and extend my arm reaching for its beauty resting at the tips of my fingers. 


I am thirsty for the company I have kept these past two weeks, thirsty for your eyes, your touch, your words, for the loving and nourishing contact springing from the well of our circle of Reiki. I am so, so thirsty for all of you. I write about us about my love for this circle, I can trace the timeline between the retreat in Seattle and the one in Arizona when Phyllis spoke about her view on succession and the essential role of a Circle in this process. 


A well of tears springs now from my overflowing gratitude for Phyllis; her words, her vision, found a way into my soul, responding to a yearning my Spirit has forever carried. Something came together for me, an intrinsic, wordless understanding of the life, wisdom and transcendence carried within the Circle itself. I can feel its inherent pulse and inner beat. The Circle which holds and serves the Energy and the System we so deeply love. 


As I went back in time and revisited our gathering in Seattle and remembered its intensity, its fierceness, its confusion and momentary despair and the image that came was that of a birthing process. Past, present and future compressed into the pain of labor, contractions, blood, life and death, the despair of feeling that there will be no end to the pain, to the rawness, no deliverance and yet ... as we continue to gather in our circle we feel the continuing trust and inherent wisdom of a timely rhythm, held within all birthing processes. 


Sitting in the circle today, I feel that it is born and alive, healthy and thriving, filled with the elements of youth; vital enthusiasm, hopefulness, strength, aliveness, openness, all held in graceful and loving ways. A Circle infused by our willingness, our insightful care, our wisdom and commitment to tend to its well being. 


I have found a place in it, a place of being held and seen, a place of listening and holding, a place of stillness and great movement, a place of quiet reflection and extraordinary inspiration, a place of many visions and oneness. I am Home. 


Thank you Reiki Circle, thank you and you and you, for giving me an indescribable sense of purpose, belonging, and gracefulness.  

The Dance of Love

I sit eyes closed

hearing 

the song of love

I stand eyes closed 

following

the cadence of love

I lay eyes shut

surrendering

to the force of love

I die eyes closed

laying

the longing of love

I rest eyes closed

in peace 

in the arms of love

For Love to hold me 

I´ve had to die
and so it is

I am now naked

nothing left to hide

no more to guard

I am bare

I am free

I am no longer

but Love´s song

My Coral Reef

I have been preparing for you 

my Love

I have reclaimed my heart and soul 

who are now singing my eternal vow 

to live a passion for the Love there is

I have plunged, head first

in deep waters intent on unveiling  

the mysteries residing within the coral reef 

of my human heart

It sits upon intricate patterns 

drawn on the golden sand 

resting at the bottom of my ocean

every line shaped by lessons of Love

marking the passing of time

I have charted my destination

led and inspired to unearth treasures 

precious jewels of shining hope and glowing kindness

inspired  by golden glimpses of faith and trust

laced with growing pains of earthly love

Many laid concealed under sharp edges 

conveying loneliness and mistrust

Others disguised in seductive colors and shapes

designed to mask disillusionment and heartbreaks 

Old and rigid sentinels sculpted and vigilant

forgetting the raw, inherent power 

and beauty of the heart 

Sailing my charted course has proven to be a worthwhile journey

I have found the Source of Love deep within my sacred core

it is now free from the bindings of the past

my woundedness now hosted and nurtured

by my own loving embrace

This is my offering to you Love

with you by my side I feel a rising force

softening every hard edge I encounter

gently stripping protections and guardedness 

of the valiant heart who trust that Love remains

no matter what

Having you in my life 

is a living testimony to hope and surrender 

to the forces of Love

I joyfully become an ocean 

blossoming with the colors of the rainbow 

reflecting Love on Earth

as You and I 

my Love

are swimming in it

Paths with Reiki

What is a Path?

This is a question I have pondered upon time and time again, finding a path feels vital and essential, having a path is life giving, following a path brings meaning, as it weaves moments, thoughts and feelings of commitment, devotion and struggle, marking the passing of time.

Reiki is my life path, I see and question how often my mind strives towards the illusive comfort of a strait and comfortable journey, wishing for the relief found in the quiet yet empty and deadly stillness   certainty. I ask myself, is this so for everyone, or is it just me? 

I see how my Reiki path takes me many places, expressing a life journey that stretches me to the limits of my being, curving through the landscape of my choices, challenging the result of my experiences, listening to the call of my longings as it reminds me to be thankful for the gifts I give and receive.

At times Reiki feels like coming home, where I belong in spirit and in my community,  before I know it, it turns into my refuge, and I retreat, move away from the world as I know it, then, miraculously, it turns, into a sanctuary, a source of peaceful knowing and unity. Each time I reach a place where I think I know, is when it all starts over again.

I have come to relax into the movement of this wondrous spinning wheel as it reflects my continuous dance with the mystery of a path in Reiki. The intimacy I find in this ebb and flow fills me with presence and wonder finding truth in the words of my Grandmaster who says that Reiki is a path
which embraces and sustains the blossoming of our divine nature.

Relief

I am choosing this path with calm confidence
knowing it must be walked, my head held high
I stand now willing to shed warm tears of acceptance
trusting that relief will come when you are gone

Love has shown me veils of luminescent light and enticing shadows
It has played a game with me, enticing my imagination
or maybe, just maybe, I did it all myself
the moment I chose to rewrite the play meant for you and I

I will miss you and the dream of our love and lost embraces

I am invited to allow the growing silence of your leaving

to embrace the empty rooms of my house

as it echoes in every fiber and recess of my heart

Relief is my prayer and my compass, I find myself becoming quiet,
open to welcome our parting, aware of every detail
hands wide open to receive discarded pieces of my heart
as they peel away and bleed, like a juicy orange

I surrender to the truth of what is calling forth my forgiveness,
so we must kiss good bye, I wish you the best darling Ulf
my longing is that we feel the wings of angels filling our sails
with winds of Peace and perfect unfolding

I ask Grace and Love to bless my every step.
May I quickly find myself standing on soft and firm ground

knowing I am Home in this Heaven on Earth as I joyfully breathe
deep within my soul a new dawn, a new day, a new light 

I feel you and me falling into 

a renewed willingness
to choose the flow of Life

 finding ways to Love

even as it hides
its beautiful face

I feel every step our hearts take

to find within the deepest recesses

of kindness and self worth

Renewing as we go
our wish to present a curvy softness

to Life´s cutting edges

and ugly masks

For that

my heart and soul love even more

I choose

to accompany

the Beauty of Love

as I walk down this path

next to you

Flowery sword

A paradox lies within me

Coiled under its cool shiny scales

Eyes still, split tongue quivering

Testing the atmosphere 

Ready to cut deep through the walls of my bones

Slicing the marrow of my core

Kind coldness thickly trickling inside

Setting fire to wounds

of old feelings

I felt the cut of a disguised sword

sweetly saying that my words are too flowery

accompanied by an -"its okay"-

What I hear are layers of grey implications

and criticism as I am pulled back

by the slingshot of my woundedness 

A child I become

separate from my beauty

by howling winds of shame

Shipwrecked in an ocean

of tears, I extend my hand

and bring my self back

as I swim, returning  

to the shore of my written 

words

Remembering the joy of restoring 

the spaciousness

the freedom to be 

exactly 

me

A man named after a young wolf calls from another land
flashing a brilliant smile, white teeth ready to love and tear

moon lover calling upon Her, awakening the powerful spirit 
of his kind soul

A man, a son, a brother, a husband, a father, a business man,

a friend, a teacher, a lover, a cook, a musician, an artist, a magician
perhaps a partner

A man, today wearing a beard, greying at the chin,
offering him a respite from looking neat and purposeful

and other times feeling like a foreign coat

A man with lovely strong legs
once stroked by stolen caresses of admiring hands
which have taken him to peaks of sacred mountains and manicured golf courses
Now in a forest of old trees he finds the stable strength of his roots 

A man with soulful eyes, liquid Caribbean ocean of green hues,
following the curves and tides of his own emotions

twinkling with light, like young shoots shine
under the sun rays of early spring

A man, future of a boy who dreams of rockets in the stars

a hammer in his hand ready to pierce the secret of ancient stones
looking for ways to crack open the mysteries of Love
of his parents hearts

A man, speaker of exotic tongues, future of an adolescent
who travels between countries struggling to find his place in the world

 having at times only his fists and sheer will to survive

A man with a valiant desire to live 
who at times rode on the crest of self fulfillemnt
and others got lost in the race to find the promised pot of gold 
at the foot of his elusive rainbow of success

A man of a brillant mind, extraordinary archive

reflecting his passionate love of learning 

 now expanded by his surrender

A man with a beautiful broken heart

today free from bindings, a heart beating a music of its own

a heart that weeps with joy and sorrow 
a heart willing to let go, to let in

A man embracing himself with the courage of the Phoenix 

willing to lay in the ashes of his losses he waits
and speaks with his friend the great Bearded Man 

who sits on hill cheering his favorite son

 He is rising as the Phoenix did

ready to be born as his own creator 

This is the man I love